One evening sometime in the beginning of this year, I was excitedly telling my dear Papili (as I fondly call my father) all about an adventurous excursion I'd recently undertaken with a few of my friends. When my unremitting chatter momentarily subsided as I paused for a breath, my father quickly took the opportunity to advise me to start a blog.
"What's that?" was my first question. "What for?" was the next, rapidly followed by "But how? What'll I write? Will I be able to write well enough? Will you help me start?" And so on. It was my lack of self confidence that set me against the idea of starting a blog. But the idea was alluring (as are all things to do with writing) and it went around coaxing every part of my mind until -- here I am, unable to do any homework as long I haven't written at least something!
I seldom write because I'm perpetually afraid of not fulfilling my high expectations, and at the same time I worry about others' opinions, much as I hate to admit it. Even now, it's the thrill of starting this blog that's driving me to write, and even as I write I'm happily surprised at myself.
My father suggested I begin by putting up a few of my poems. I now think it's a good idea, but I don't want to keep basking in past glory. I yearn to create, and this blog is to ensure that I keep writing... well, at least once a month, for a start. So I've decided to follow the excellent advice my Russian art teacher once gave me when, as a result of a whole afternoon's struggle to sculpt a nose with a paintbrush, I was feeling terribly frustrated:
"Be happy, peaceful, and try, try and try! We never know when the right tints will come. Cezanne would say: 'Today I didn't manage. Maybe tomorrow...' "
They say tomorrow never comes so I've begun write now, however awful my work might seem to me, for who knows? ...If tomorrow does come, I might perhaps be just a wee bit closer to awesome!!! ;-)
